The excellently numbered room key from the hotel shades and I were staying at for a conference last weekend:

I think this post may have invalidated their security.

According to Reuters.

This is my favourite quote, from an Iraqi police chief:

“…I’ve seen his videos, he’s a hero. He saves the city, he protects women and children and he fights crime wherever it is. We should all be like Chuck Norris…”

CNN / MSNBC / Reuters are calling Vermont for Obama.

Update (00:37GMT / 19:37EST) : Too close to call in Ohio.

Update (00:40GMT / 19:40EST): Interestingly CNN are giving obama 5% in Vermont and MSNBC are giving him 53%. A 3-5%+/- error margin puts Clinton back in contention.

Update (00:42GMT / 19:42EST): Eastern Ohio polls have had to move due to flooding, Ohio secretary of state says Ohio has run out of ballots and needs to extend voting until 2100. Petitions court.

Update (00:45GMT / 19:48EST): CNN still wont call Ohio. Only 3% of districts have reported in Vermont but it still went to McCain and Obama…Early call?

Update (00:50GMT / 19:50EST): MSNBC are carrying the peitiotn to hold Ohio voting until 2100, CNN are not. Vermont voted on Iraq. CNN are saying the Ohio polls have closed.

Update (00:51GMT / 19:51EST): Texas polls close in 9 minutes.

Update (01:00GMT/20:00EST):  CNN calling Ohio for Clinton, Clinton 56% Obama 42%. Texas just closed.

Update (01:02GMT / 20:02EST): MSNBC calling Ohio for Clinton, same poll numbers as CNN. Even with error margins Ohio is for clinton, expected but annoying.

Update (01:04GMT/20:04EST): Some Texas polls will remain open for another hour, because they’re on mountain time. Extension granted in flooded out part of Ohio but no official court announcement. Huckabee takes a suprising 23% in Ohio against McCain.

Update (01:07GMT/20:07EST): Reuters call Vermont for Obama at 60% to Clintons 38% with 11% of precintcts reporting. They still wont call Ohio for Clinton.

Update (01:11GMT/20:11EST): CNN are running a pointless article on President Johnson, shut the fuck up and give me more Ohio and Texas numbers.

Update (01:12GMT/20:12EST): CNN Obama 61% clinton 39% in Texas. Fucking yes. allegedly 60% of registered voters in Texas have turned out, awesome. less than 2% reporting however.

Update (01:14GMT/20:14EST): Obamas campaign have just filed a lawsuit in Ohio to keep Cuyahgo City polls open late, Reuters reporting.

Update (01:17GMT/20:17EST): MSNBC wont release any Texas numbers. fuckers. Give me the heroin and back off, gutdamn pushers.

Update (01:20GMT/20:20EST): MSNBC update their Ohio numbers giving 62% to Clinton and 36% to Obama. By most counts Ohio is Clintons. CNN give El Paso more tie until close, Rhode Island doesnt close until 2100EST.

Update (01:22GMT / 20:22EST): CNN have an awesome touchscreen minority report style interface their consultants are using to predict results. The technology is truly frightening, none of the maths works though. These spin ridden lizards will eat pictures and spit fiery numbers that will not compute to a greek.

Update (01:26GMT/20:26EST): MSNBC report ballot shortages in 15 precincts. Voting hours extended by court mandate. Obama must sniff the honey vote push the facebook buttons and network to the call lists. Make it so number two. CNN still replying Jck Nichelsons commercial for Hillary. No texas numbers from MSNBC or reuters, move it you slave pigs! open Minastiriths gates and give me Obamas hordes!

Update (01:29GMT/20:29EST): CNN are playing stupid celebrity clips and pimping showbiz tonight, this is akin to putting on the grammys during 9/11 coverage. Fuck off. Reuters calling Texas for obama with 58% of the vote versus Clintons 40% but only 1% reporting.

Update (01:33GMT/20:33EST): Still no Texas numbers from MSNBC. Pussies. My news on the court decision was faster than CNN’s, eat that corporate news whores. The snake took a bite of the big apple, and Rhode Island floated by unaware of its role as a lifeboat. Its getting weird now, I’m tired and my fingers hurt because the a key on my keyboard is broken and i have to punch it. The election has left me crippled. Someone behind me is talking, but the house is empty. Ass.

Update (01:50GMT/20:50EST): Hilariously Fox are calling Texas 100% for clinton with 344,000 votes counted. I’m guessing there’s an error with their updater.

Update (01:53GMT/20:53EST): MSNBC are chickenshit cowards and still have no Texas numbers. Reuters reporting huge clinton wins in Texas periphery so maybe Fox not far off.

Fuck them all, my vision is going and my neck is aching like a bear shat in my spine. Plus I have a callous the size of a pea on my ‘a’ finger.

Here’s 404 calls -

Vermont, Obama
Ohio, Clinton
Rhode Island, Clinton
Texas, Obama.

Fuck democracy. I’m going to bed.

Long hot night in Texas.

Debates on university campuses often exude the kind of naive, romantic optimism of student politics and to that end Obama should be a knight in shining armor to these people.

For sure when he strode onto the stage with his giant gait the crowd greeted the new king. A giant applause for a giant man who looked humble and considerate but not practiced. It feels like his feathers are tucked behind his back and one day he may rise phoenix like and say ‘Lo Amreica I have come unto the with burning vengence to lead you from the mistakes of history and into the new Obama dawn’, this however did not happen and the camera instead panned to Hillary.

First impressions. She was dressed like an officer of the imperial death star with sharp black suit and gold piping on the collars. Her aim was true and you know she wanted to take aim at princess Obamas next possible victory home world of Texas and strike it down with her fully operational death star. The rebellion would be crushed and the empire seeded a major victory over the rebels if this occured. But what of Obama and the new giant killing machine he has erected? His mangonels and catapults stayed silent and his drums of war beat only a few times, he needed to stay above the fray, flying on the wings of the golden eagle of national promise, only to look down and rain bird shit on Hillary as she took pot shots above.

PULL! Shouted the commentator and the first set of introductions left the trap.

Clinton acted like a rockstar, Marilyn Manson suit ahoy she screamed into the microphone, dropping in famous Texans repeatedly that she knew. The anvil clang of her local name dropping was so loud it even awoke Obama who may, once again have been eating fist fulls of sedatives before the debate. If that wacked out crazy hope driven man doesnt eat downers for 48 hours before appearing on TV he would probably turn into a catherine wheel and burn the stage to pieces with the fiery white light of hope and change sparks.

Obama introduced himself in a way that was again below radar, I think he wants to avoid McCains problem of no longer being the underdog and turning into the succesful candidate because well, you cant fight an insurgency if you’re an occupying force and everyone loves the underdog. Talking of insurgencys Iraq blew itself to the top of the agenda and the commentators, to their credit, asked some smart questions on the democratic party line. It was a salem witch trial for the democratic party rather than the candidates as the magicians have pulled a victory out of the hat in Iraq, the violence is down down down like wall street shares and the refugees are returning in greater numbers just as more homes are violently seized by crazed sherriffs and bailiff officers in scream county poorville USA.

Bad mortgage deals aside Obama fielded the Iraq one well, ‘The fucking republicans are crying victory and the anti-war stance is weak kung-fu now, what do you say to that Mr.Hope man?’ hissed the commentator, shoving an electrified microphone into Obamas forehead. Obama responded by drawing the tactical and strategic line, winning a tactical victory by having more troops and ceeding a strategic mass blunder by getting no progress form the Iraqi government. Good save, by definition and with some substance. It aint beef but its close enough for sandwiches.

Clinton was again forced to agree. Where was the damned delicattessen spread here people? The biggest problems on Cuba, immigration, border fences, and even the economy drew no different colour blood from either candidate. There were degrees of scale here but no fucking earthquakes.

I sat with a heavy heart wanting to see Obama run the mile in under a minute but he didn’t. Then, just as Hillary dropped another name so heavily I needed an aspirin it hit me. Obama is playing the smart card.

See the people love the travelling cart, the miracle medicines of the man on the road who brings his toads in a jar and cures your warts. Deception it may be, but love it certainly is. When there are no differences in policy the differnce is personality and who do you prefer? The giant man who talks of hope and reconcilliation, or the imperial guard who spits rhetoric about plagarism?

When Clinton slips, she goes down hard. Actually managing to get a boo from democrats in a democratic conference as the wife of the most succesfull democratic president, is a hard call. She paid off the bookies though and got the fuckers to boo. No stocks and tomatoes but if this was Edwardian times she would have been burned for that moment and the inquisition moved on.

When she said Obama was ‘change you can xerox’ on his campaign it felt cheaper than a 99p store closing down sale and it hit low, but it didnt land. Obama, gently shook his head as if to dismiss this impudent and ’silly politics’. The crowd hissed and CNN ratings tracker saw Clinton drop as she spoke. How do they measure those damned things in real time anyway? Do we have electrodes on democratic monkies that nod or scream when something is said and the data is fed into THE MACHINE as it goes? Or does some ass lord PR guru man person just punch numbers on a keyboard while drinking a slushy and go by the clap-o-meter?

It mattered not as Clinton rallied at the very end when asked her most challenging moment. She spoke about war families and her religion pushing her to give opportunity like a barefoot monk leading the childrens crusade on the power of sunshine, religion plays well in Texas, democrat or no and the crowd gave her her clap-o-meter, the chimps responded via electrodes and her fucking ratings humped the hill.

Other, actual journalists, might have put it rightly when they opined that Clinton might have nudged the debate, but it was a close call. And that Clinton needed a great night, and Obama needed an ok one. They both got an ok time. Clintons huge overbite reared its ugly head once and I was immediately gripped by the fear she would simply decapitate Obama on stage with her extended upper mandible and hold his bleeding head up to the camera as the people screamed and fled the auditorium. Why hadn’t the secret service thought of this? Who a sin charge here? How can the pretorian let it happen, unless it was Dallas and an open topped car and an unsecured window all over again. Hope gets you dead in the US of Democracy it might seem. I could see the headlines and feel the gore. When I opened my eyes the matrix had restored order and this had not happened, but if I see the black cat twice I know in my heart Obama is dead.

Obamas myth is larger than his reality and he did put it best when he said ‘I think people want to have hope in politics again’ guttdamn my friend but that hope card is played out like a tired fake ace in a bad gambling den. Still, it works every time.

Obama simply must take this state, if he doesnt then this fat and tired race is going to go the way of Rocky and push 15 rounds all the way to the democratic conference. Has Obama peaked in the middle or is Hillary resurgent? No. Obama is a giant killer and he knows he must remain not ‘too far in front’ so that his policy sameitude and hers can become a battle of personality, then the insincere smile and twin set of pearls Hillary has will become weapons of war, the battlefield will move to the hand gestures and presence and Obama will set fire in a ball of screaming humanity to Hilarys hindenburg.

Scream all you want but this fucking ride is going faster.

It’s early on the presidential race but its long tooth time for the nomination battle.

Obama’s got ten in a row but the difference is not as large as it could be. The bunnies are off the farm as far as the nomination goes but the warren is deep and long and counting those animals is elusive.

Earlier I sent a fax to Obama’s campaign team, it would have read like this had the damned machine not eaten my paper and spat it out with a psychobabble inkblot test that begged me to remember my long dead family guinie pig:

“…What the hell? He’s talking like hes gone ten rounds with Tyson not ten wins against Hillary. He’s moving into the slow lane, the Houston address was problematic, your man needs red bull, give him wings, flight of hope is not enough to push a white house door open. We need more passion, more energy.

The Houston stump was a stump, I know the woman bangs on the door and tests our patience like drug addled urine but its not good enough. If you’re going to beat McCain who is a hyena in wolves clothes, you must get that vigour back. Hold back on the policy ammo though. He’s already set out an early attack, he’ll land on your beaches with a ‘eloquent but empty’ charge that’ll make the Clinton impeachment look like a barrell of smiling herring.

If you are going to beat Clinton, stay on target red six, guddamn hit the trench and bullseye those fucking womp rats! She’s looking worse than tired she’s looking defeated, the only part of her that isnt is her mouth. Thing is thats the mirror alice in wonderland, you got smaller for drinking, image of what you guys are doing. Wake him up. Send him up there with fire in his belly. If he’s going to talk to Houston like he fell asleep then we might as well pack our fucking bags and go home. Eat caffeine, inject pure mountain water, whatever the fuck he needs to get motivated.

She’s not dead and tigers in corners are fucking angry cats, spit hiss and make noise worse than chewing a child. An angry swan can break a mans arm and with two campaign leaders gone, a senior aide fired, ten states lost and her own money in the thing, Clinton is a guddamn tiger monster that will shit promises and eat lower taxes and universal healthcare.

We all know she sold that one out to the insurance industry but dammnit they dont! If he’s getting emphasemic on the route, then have him talk for half the time with twice the damned passion. This man has the speech to Mister Luther King a white crowd, never mind the black vote. Use that to whip Clinton and keep the tallies rolling in.

But dont print the fucking tickets yet. This thing with the wife and not being proud of the nation played badly, the core democrats will see it for what it is and the swing voters might just decide to see-saw, explain, not complain. Like sumo wrestling its better to loose quickly than slowly, fucking fat ugly bastards throwing lard at one another to push out of a chalk circle is not how you want this ‘national pride’ thing to go down. Explain and then get her to sit at the back.

Well done on calling in the NYT favor on McCain though. Things look bleakest and then they whack him with a ‘you sleep with lobbyists’ charge. Don’t call in all the big favors until it’s race time or this will be one catch the fucking pigeon that misses the damned bird and we’ll all be left listening to Muttley.

It’s getting dirty my friend and we aint even at the start line yet. Shit we havnt filed our reigstration papers. Save the policy ammo for McCain unless Hillary manages a push in Texas. If she doesnt then hold onto the ideas for the race itself.

Gutdamn the problem is the McCain beast is funny, he’s got humour. And that will sway and sink an opposition worse than the good ship politic ever would. Hope looks bad when it doesnt deliver and the race is long. Use hope to get the ticket then start actually adding some policy meat to this roast dinner or the fucking campaings a turkey.

Yours…etc”

This cross eyed debate isnt won lost or half fought, tonight we’ll see Hillary and Obama fence one another Jacobian style over who is heading toward madame guillotine this next few months. Hillay will be a fire breathing ass monster who will in the last throws of death press for the red button and nuke the campaign. If it happens let her do it, your friends hit harder than your enemies and if shes got the dirt to hurt before you face McCain let her spill it so hes got no gunpowder left in all of Spain. Hell, even Mr.Bill has aknowledged that if Hillary doesnt make Texas and Ohio shes probably going home. Gutdamn but this is tighter than a nun’s ducks ass at Christmas time and you people are playing away from home worse than McCain is alleged to have done.

Don’t forget the poeple didnt give a rats ass that Clinton humped almost every female he spied, it reminded them of Kennedy and they loved him for it. Shit, even the French dont care about that stuff anymore, let it go and use it only where it hurts: Rigty right wing ethical values crowd. If we’re lucky Huckabee just will not qwuit like the terminator and we’ll see him pull the evangelical vote form under McCain. Ahh but shit, I muse while you loose.

No more fucking slow talk you understand? Get this hell cart on the road to ruin.

Just as the dot com bubble of the 90s inevitably had to burst, so the great tide of films from the 1980s must also at some point die off.

Two of the greatest franchises of that era for horror / sci-fi fans where of course, the Aliens series and the less numerous, but just as well liked, Predator movies.

At their height with Alien, Aliens and Alien 3 the original Alien trilogy told a story of an amoral, insect like breed of creatures that were able to survive (and kill) their way into any ecosystem. They seemed tied to the destiny of one human more than most, Sigorney Weaver’s Ripley, ranking up there with Bruce Willis for ‘in a vest climbing through tunnels’ action during the 80s.

The Predator series with just two outings during its height was an equally fascinating and original IP. A race of supreme hunters from a galaxy many thousands of years away would come to earth and hunt ‘worthy’ prey using a variety of high tech gadgets and bare faced strength, this is one of the movies that made Arnie’s early career.

In the mid 90s a comic crossover of the two occured, with writers and artists portraying a universe in which the Predators actually captured and ‘bred’ Aliens to use as hunting species. Indicating the Predators had found their most deadly foe and that they had, played a little fast and loose, introducing them to various environments in order to hunt them in the wild.

Then, someone, somewhere, turned around and said “Let’s make that a movie” and my life went to shit.

What could have been a true great of cinema, an update of the Aliens and Predator saga with modern effects and technologies applied, in a slick, tense, occasionally bloodridden piece of celluloid art, became instead ‘Disney’s big aliens fight each other until something stops them starring Whinny the Pooh and friends’.

The lamentable Aliens 4 or ‘Resurrection’ should have told us where this franchise was going. Just as with evrything else post 2000 it was designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator, out of whom, the most money could be made in the lifetime of the product, i.e. children.

The moment the first AvP was rated PG I knew the only thing that was going to work in this movie were the product tie ins.

In summary the first film was a piss poor action-fest which saw seemingly hundreds of predators (Best known for working alone) dispatched by fat, sluggish aliens that had been buried, and discovered, under the ice by a small human research team.

So I expected very little of this second outing, in fact I hoped, perhaps they could do a Star Wars Episode III and just salvage some of the wreck they’d made of my childhood.

So myself and the intrepid Spike headed into town to watch the film, along with my missus to get a decent consensus view.

The opening credits told me all I needed to know. They had blended the style (By this I mean fonts) of the Alien films with those of the Predator universe. A homage to those of us who had actually seen these titles upon first release.

That was the highlight of the movie.

From there in a loose plot, continuing the end of the first movie where a predator alien hybrid runs amok on the predators ship, causing it to crash in the United States, and the ensuing carnage of a small town which sends in the marines only to be double crossed by a besuited grey, Government man from the Government occurs. Now that’s novel.

We get elements of Scream and I know What you Did Last Summer with a tacked in group of teens and their romantic sub-plot. There are literally tonnes of scenes inserted which are supposed to be in homage to the first films, but actually just look like poorly ripped off afterthought throughout.

As with Freddy and Jason, it simply becomes, who will die and how. True to form we get a tough female lead, whos acting is so unbelievably shoddy that Weaver’s alien 4 ‘I’m a clone’ outing really is oscar nominating beside it.
IF the Aliens and Predators in the story had followed their biological programming and attacked only living beings the entire acting cast would have been safe because they were clearly made of some form of wood.

The film rips off the car chase scene from Aliens, the ‘Alien lust’ scene from Alien 3, the Predator injured scene from Predator one, the Aliens swimming scene from Alien 4 and numerous others with reckless abandon.

It also has its signature shock moment, much like Saw or Hills have eyes etc. This is to do with the way the predalien hybrid breeds. It appears that the new species ‘pumps eggs’ into already pregnant female hosts via their throats which then burst form their wombs. It’s pretty grim to watch the insemination sequence, but beyond the intitial shock value it makes no sense. It basically resembled very bad porn, indeed Spike remarked to me halfway through “Now thats a deep throat”. Quite.

The picture quality was very good although relied on far too many cliches, steam, flashing lights, darkness, rain and power failure being the predominant visual effects. All overused and badly manipulated to create a sense of total non-tension.

The sound was probably my biggest complaint, it was quite simply too loud. It was loud to the point of changing heart rhythm and whilst this can be good in real moments of power, the volume and aggression of the effects didnt fit the weakly acted film and certainly had me with my fingers in my ears several times (Which incidently saved me from some of the more awful dialogue).

The story was filled with many holes and contradictions, and if you were a true fan of either franchise or both it was just a giant swiss cheese of thing (Why did the predator attack an unarmed man running away from him? How did the predalien evolve a whole new reproductive system in one generation? Why did the aliens kill most of their victims and not others? Why did the gestation period for the chest bursters vary form five minutes to almost three days? Why can the predalien only use females for new aliens? Why are these aliens regular alien and not predalien hybrids? Why are there no cross breeds generated for humans a la Alien 4? How did the government explain not one but two nuclear explosions on US soil to the public and everyone else? Why did the female lead simply stop crying about her husband after his gruesome death in five seconds?) I could go on and on but it serves no purpose.

My good lady who has never seen the original movies thought it was ‘fun’ and ‘noisy’ she, like the audience is was designed for will no doubt love the ’shlock factor’ and the ‘two monsters in a horror movie’ scenario.

The slow rot that began with Aliens 4, and accelerated to a death knell with AVP1 is finally completed with this movie. Lucas has slaughtered Star Wars upon the alter of ‘most franchise dollars available’ and the makers of AVP2 have also finally put a good idea to its death.

Bleed out all love for the previous films, add the inability to make a good movie from scratch, overloud soundtrack with repetative use of theme music, sprinkle in a ‘ready to die’ cast and some ass achingly poor acting and then add a signature chock scene and the executives wish to get as many toys and posters out of a 15 cert thats possible and you’ve got AVP2.

Recommendation: If your little ones are a bit too old for Whinny the Poohs big movie or Pixars ‘OMFG look we animated a frog!’ and you dont understand films such as ‘Charlie Wilsons War’ then please go and see this movie and buy all of the associated shit. You’ll be helping kill the last good ideas of the 80s.  

Where do I begin with this one?

Well I should be honest and say that after weeks and months of playing a few hours a day, I havn’t finished it. And the reasons I havn’t finished it are basically all the highs and lows of the game easily remembered:

Interesting, involving, deep, intricate, bugged, flawed, tiresome, repetative.

The game is fearsomely open ended, there is a central plotline which you can play several ways (Good, bad or somewhere in between) and then there are multiple side quests and guild quests, plus hours of your own preferred activities.

I’m a big fan of open ended games and the ability to persue a storyline at your own pace, the world of Elder scrolls is a rich one, and Morrowind is no exception, however this is also a failing. If you wanted to you could spend weeks just reading all the hundreds of books there are in the tens of libraries and stores you’ll find. Sadly the story envrionment is just as complicated.

It boils down to the imperials (Romans) having control over an island (Morrowind) of previously free dark elves (Dunmer). There are troubles in the empire and for some reason you, a convicted prisoner, are released and sent there with instructions to meet someone and deliver a package, and thus your adventure begins…Well its supposed to.

See I never once worked out exactly what I was supposed to be doing or all the intrigues behind it. There are various noble families of dark elves politicing on the island as well as the imperials, some religious sects (Good and bad) and thousands of random NPCs somewhere in-between.

You can do as you wish, interact with these people, get information, sell information, if you want to wander off into the island chains for hours and pick flowers and sell them in various markets, go ahead the choice is yours.

The world of Morrowind is divided into various regions along the coast and nearby, or inland,  and the graphical geography changes to suit, it’s sometimes green and verdant, gently sloping. Othertimes its harsh and barren, with twisted trees and volcanic rock. It’s quite interesting for the first few hours, but after a while you notice the environment is not changing quite as much as you’d thought and similar structures and patterns emege regularly. Textures become a bit repetative, but thats also because of some graphical issues (Coming later). To be fair the game is old (2002?) and does very well with the hardware available on the Xbox.

Graphically the environment has received worthwhile attention, as you’ll spend many many hours wandring around it, lakes shimmer, water runs, dust blows across your vision and grass and tress spring from rolling hills, the sun sets and rises over changing skies and stars become visible at night, the graphics can be truly stunning on occasion, if simply because you can be drawn into the world so well. It’s not Unreal by any means but it does make a good effort.

The characters and animation are also noteworthy, with fairly decent movement and other animation sequences. There are a limited number of ‘face’ textures available for NPCs and some of them do start to look familiar after a while, that said there’s also a suprising amount of variety due to the number of races and species populating Morrowind (A handy getout for the model skinning problem no doubt).

Where the graphics fall down is in the area of magic and other such effects. Despite there being many spells that you can cast or have cast against you, the actual effects these produce makes them very difficult to distinguish, essentually these seem to produce either a purple, blue or yellow glow in the hands of your opponenet and then something happens to you (Not always noticeable, but more on that later). So in the use of magic and its depiction, there’s some lack of detail there.

Graphically the weapons you use seem diverse and often ‘feel’ different to wield suggesting their respective weight and damage, so thats a good thing. But the lack of variety in opponent attack sequences often makes longer fights seem rather repetative.

In terms of sound the music and effects of Morrowind are generally low key and follow the general lines of the graphics, there’s attention paid to the environment and other such associated events (dust storms etc) but there’s a lack of variety outside of ambience. There’s no discernable background chatter in taverns or inns, stalls and markets are eerily quiet and NPCs will sometimes say some really bizzarre things when you’re not talking directly to them.

Musically the game is not very diverse, standard fight and walking around music is present. On the rare occasions the music and events sync up properly its really grand, for example, cresting a hill and seeing the sun dawn over a massive castle in the distance as the music climbs to a crescendo is a great game moment, but rare due to a lack of attention to music and its in game use.

Gameplay is a very diverse category within Morrowind, it’s ups include an open ended style story whereby you can wander the wastes, skulk around villages as a thief, perform magic and healing and get money and reputation, or become a wanted ciminal and be chased by gaurds in every town you enter. Additionally theres a variety of factions you can work casually for or betray, and the character levelling system is a nice blend of D&D and standard earn XP and level.
By performing actions regularly you rank the asociated skill, so by talking a lot or persuading others your speechcraft increases or by fighting with swords, bladecraft and so on. These sub-abilities influence you overall level which influence your stats etc. So a good, rise by doing, system.

On the downside gameplay is often repetative with the player needing to grind certain skills to hit their top level and move on to the next, in truth you want a more powerful character and so whilst you might otherwise fight with whatever weapons and armor feel best (I.e. an organic gaming approach) you’ll end up approaching it more scientifically and choosing things that will level your character faster.

Additionally you will naturally tilt your character to certain things, meaning others get further and further behind. This isnt a problem say for a magician character as if you leave your speech and security skills by the wayside you can use your magic to open doors and influence people, however if you’re a warrior class you cant simply bash open doors or locks and you cant influence others with violence (They simply fight until they die and never leave combat mode until you or they are dead).

Additionally, and worth their own paragraph are the bugs. There are numerous gameplay issues and real show-stopper bugs in the game itself. On occasion savegames simply just wont load. This doesnt seem to depend on anything but luck or otherwise. You’ll need several saves to make sure you dont get locked out between sessions.

Second characters will randomly wander into combat with you if you’re fighting another, so if you’re involved in a scrap with a guard and an NPC you really need to talk to is nearby they will often wander into the battle and be struck, hence forcing you to kill them and loose any info or quests they may have to offer.

On the same point about battle, if an opponent is behind a door in a room and you go into combat in another space often the opponent will attempt to run through the door to reach you, (NPCs being unable to open doors universally) but this also causes a collision detection bug whereby you simply cannot open the door as the character is clipping through it. This is intensly frustrating as NPCs never leave combat mode once it is engaged, and you cannot open a door they are stuck in, thereby you lock yourself out of areas because of their action, this can also stop you getting on with a central quest.

In summary Morrowind is a great and involving, if flawed and buggy, title. It’s promise shows through in how much you’re willing to look past the bad just to play the game and experience the environment.

Equally its promise remains that, an elusive thing which is never fully realised due to graphical constraints, limited use of sound and some serious software flaws.

Recommendation: Buy it if you like open ended RPGs and see it on 3 for 2 or preowned. Well worth a go, if a little frustrating.

Why lord?

Why dost thou take such heavenly goodnes as XBox 2003 Game of the Year winner ‘Knights of the Old Republic’ and follow it with games lie KOTOR2?

Generally game sequels tend to follow movie rules, if it isnt by the same director / team that did the first outing then you’re in for a bad show, or at least a tough ride.

The game uses the same engine so it still looks and feels much the same with the addition of a fews new player options (Lightsaber forms, Force channeling powers etc) but it suffers from something I never normally have to complain about, a total lack of coherent story.

All the way through KOTOR I felt as if I was a part in a bigger plot, a plot that was devloping around me, and then towards the end, a plot that I drove myself. This is how good storytelling is done, see Half Life and its sequel for other strong examples.

Sadly KOTOR2 just never got it right. The story was mildly interesting but there was never that sense of ‘the fate of the galaxy hangs on you’ possibly because everybody kept telling you that the fate of the galaxy did indeed depend on you.

The Jedi, Sith, third way divide was never properly explored and the characters (Particularly those force aligned) spouted so much nonsensical, vague philosophy that it actually got in the way of plot revelation. There were one or two really good moments, but nothing on the level of the first game.

I thing KOTOR2 is also a good example of how important sound and music is to a title. The one big thing missing from KOTOR2 were the grand sweeping instrumentals of the first game, and indeed the movie series. You get standard ‘in combat’ music but the recognisable Starwars themes, by now programmed into your subconcious, were never apparent.

Somehow the game failed to tie off loose ends, whilst creating more. I know there’s supposedly the possiblity of a third but please goodness, don’t let Obsidian make it.

My final gripe, and something thats been getting on my tits more and more recently (Lord of the Rings, Star Wars empire at war and now KOTOR 2) endings.

Why, when playing a cinematic game  which includes cutscenes and dialogue, are there no decent endings? I dont want a fifteen minute finish (Although it would be nice) but in a game, tied to a movie franchise and with such massive plots, the crappy <30 second ending you get which makes no sense and finishes nothing is awful.

For games with great endings, see Marvel Ultimate Alliance, fantastic. It’s long, its detailed and it takes acount of every decision made telling you the consequences of your actions throughout, masterful.

Kotor, a game based on moral choices and do/don’t scenarios, does nothing of the sort, allowing you some dialogue options and then some crappy ending sequence, less than ten seconds long. After 60+ hours of playing, that’s bitterly dissappointing.

I’ll post a proper review at some point if I can be arsed.

Happy new year to all wandering internet souls that have woken up in this layby this morning.

Here’s hoping it’s the best yet for 404, a feat as simple to achieve as inversely as it is likely to occur.

Todays Nebraska Mall Shooting, in which 9 where killed before the gunment committed suicide, will be treated differently by different people. For the emo crowd it will be ‘a call to recognise teenage angst’ for the Godhead ‘A time to reconcile our differences’ but for the anti-music and games lobby, this quote might stick:

“…But he also had a drinking problem and would occasionally smoke marijuana in his bedroom, she said. Hawkins liked to listen to music and play video games…”

From the woman who cared for him.

To her credit she goes on to say that’s normal teenage stuff, but I stopped reading where the hate mongers will.

I wonder if it was Mario Universe, or Catz that led to his downfall in their opinion…?